Skip to main content

Summer Hibernation

Just gave up on sleeping tonight.  I went to bed around 8:00 last night, slept for two hours, awoke at 11:00, and never got back to sleep.  Bummer. 

There is the slightest hint of freshness and coolness outside which I haven’t felt since I’ve been here.  It has been oppressively hot and so humid.  It poured rain all afternoon and evening yesterday and although it was still in the 90s, it made my apartment pretty cozy.  A little preview of what this place could be like in the winter.  I loved to imagine it. 

I have now been here for a full week.  Hooray!  It has been filled mostly with a lot of running from one home goods store to the next (which has given me a pretty good sense of the surrounding territory) with one sweet day of antiquing around Old Saybrook.  What an ordeal it is to set up a home!  So costly and tiring.  I’ve had a few ups and downs this week but still feel entirely certain that this is where I should be.  I’m glad to be here so long before classes start so I can put all this behind me before classes start.  But ahh – the classwork will be the great prize when all the housework is complete.  I can hardly wait.

I must say I like New Haven.  It’s a big city and I’ve never lived anywhere urban, except while studying abroad.  I like having places on my street that I can walk to – two delis, one bakery, four Asian food restaurants, three pizzerias, one ice cream counter, a Subway, two coffee shops, a bagel joint, and a vintage clothing store.  Not to mention the scores of doctors, dentists, and lawyers who office on my street, should those needs ever arise.  I am in the midst of industry here, and my corner bustles at all hours while still feeling personal and cozy.  There is movement here, and I love being a fixture amid the hustle. 

I do feel like I am waiting for Yale to come alive after its summer hibernation.  I sense there is life waiting just beneath the soil waiting to burst out of the ground when the students arrive.  Even the little wine and cheese shop across the street is still closed for the summer. 

The weather is supposed to stay at a swelter until September and then the fabled glories of New England autumn should arrive.  I am so eager for it.  New classes, new books, new notebooks, new friends. 

Tonight while I lay awake, however, I began to really miss my friends.  I was so installed in LA with many people who really knew me, and had known me for a long time.  And I was so comfortable with my routine at home.  I left behind a rich and loving community of truly great people, each of whom reflected God's spirit to me in a different way.  Dear God, build around me whatever I will need to find you here the way I did there – or in a totally different way if need be.  I know I am only thinking of my friends at home because you promise new friendships here, too.  A great community will emerge in this place in good time.  But Lord, bless my precious friends at home.  I miss them. 


Popular posts from this blog

The Cocktail Party

I had drinks with a friend after a long seminar tonight, and for the first time in a while, I didn't stagger to my car exhausted and then sit in traffic for 90 minutes (that's right, it takes me 90 minutes to go 11 miles #LosAngeles) and then collapse for an hour and then go back to work for another 3 hours before crawling into bed (I am taking too many classes this quarter).  Instead, I had two glasses of wine and a little dinner, and I got to talk to a great person who is willing to share a lot of knowledge with me as well as some genuine pleasantness.  It reminded me of the olden days when my social life and my academic life were centered around the same place and task, and it lightened the load quite a bit.

That moment of levity at the end of the day.  Ah.  We need it.  No reading.  No striving.  No obligations.  The wine or cocktail is key.  You're always pausing when you have a drink.  You're being a little bad.  You're working against your evening productiv…

I Don't Know

I've noticed a phenomenon in many areas of my verbal life wherein the phrase "I don't know" opens, closes, or rests in the middle of a phrase.  The more I listen for it, the more I am struck by its ubiquity, yet these phrases have nothing to do with the parameters of the speaker's knowledge.

In a seminar:  "I don't know, but I think he's saying..."

Among friends discussing the news: "Um, I don't know, but I feel like this could have been avoided..."

Two girls shopping:  "Is this cute?  Right?  I don't know."

Some guys on a walk: "I mean, I don't know, but was that the best choice..."

High school students in class: "I don't know, but don't you kind of feel like..."

Are we really so tentative?  Is our own knowledge so slippery that we cannot be certain of our opinions?  Do we doubt our own knowledge, we who may spend about 15-20 years of our lives in full-time, formal education or many ho…

Life Craft

Finals weeks are misery for me.  Sometimes I catch a wave of inspiration and weep into my keyboard, but those moments are rare.  I am not having one yet this time around.  I took too many classes this quarter and thus couldn't start my papers until it was too late to wait around for Muses.  And when I say I took too many classes that is not a request for applause at my ambition.  It was a mistake.  A mistake that reflects how desperate I am to be finished with my coursework so I can move on to Dante and do some real thinking that is not geared toward a 3AM slapdash 25 page paper.  And hopefully then this program will become enjoyable for me and not a daily reminder of the huge mistake I made deciding to go here.

As I have been trying to piece together a Boccaccio paper over the past three days, I've spent way more time on the internet than I normally do.  Especially Vogue, a publication I used to read regularly and haven't honestly read in several years.  I watched a bunch…